Agency: The Greatest Gift We’ve Been Given

By Bruce H. Jackson

If I had to name the most significant gift ever given to a living being, it would be this: agency—the capacity to choose.

And yet, so many of us fail to use it. We delay. We avoid. We convince ourselves we don’t have a choice when in reality, we do. Choosing NOT to choose is still a choice!

Why? Sometimes it’s because choices feel overwhelming—like 800-pound hamburgers. Impossible to swallow in one bite. The secret, of course, is to break them down into smaller bites. But even that decision—to start small—requires agency.

Other times, it’s subtler. Something happens—someone cuts you off in traffic, a colleague makes a careless remark, a child melts down—and we react. We even say things like, “He made me so mad.” But in reality: nobody makes us anything. Between stimulus and response is a gap—a tiny, powerful space where agency lives. In that moment, we can either surrender to impulse, or we can pause, breathe, and choose strategically. This is fundamental to your emotional intelligence—but also to everyday decision-making.

I had this very conversation with my daughter after someone cut us off in traffic. She said, “That person made me so mad.” I (ironically, and with my own emotional response) reminded her: “Nobody made you mad—you chose it.” Of course, I was choosing poorly myself at the time. That’s the trap we all fall into. But if you can smile about it—even in hindsight—you’re already halfway to reclaiming your agency.

Let’s make this simple. Indulge me for just 30 seconds. And remember—whether you do this or not is itself a choice:

Touch your nose with your right (or left) hand.
Move your head gently from side to side.
Look at something in the room and name it out loud.

That’s it. Experiment complete!

If you did even one of these things, you proved it: you have agency. You are your own agent of movement, reaction, decision, and change.

And here’s the key: agency builds momentum.

I once had a client who told me he was struggling to motivate himself to get to the gym. Instead of setting a lofty goal like “work out for an hour every day,” he gave himself permission to start absurdly small. Day one, he simply drove to the gym, touched the front door, and went home. Day two, he opened the door and stepped inside three feet—then went home. Day three, he stayed for a minute. Then five. Then ten. Over time, those micro-choices compounded. Two years later, the gym became his sanctuary.

What changed? Not just his physique—his relationship with agency. He discovered that even the tiniest exercise of choice could create momentum. And momentum, once started, has a way of multiplying.

So the next time you feel unmotivated, overwhelmed, or caught in reaction mode, remember: choices don’t have to be monumental to matter. Sometimes the smallest possible action—or the slightest pause—is all it takes to unlock momentum and redirect your day.

That is the essence of agency. And it is always, always yours.